


That Awkward Moment When

by Ayamuri



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 10:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3807325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayamuri/pseuds/Ayamuri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate take on the scene in Re:connect where Aoba is asked what should've been a simple question: "Where's Ren?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Awkward Moment When

This is just a random drabble meant for kicks and giggles. As such, personalities have been sort of altered. I'd apologize, but…I'm not sorry :) This does contain some strong language though so I'll give a warning for that. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

* * *

 

 

After being cooped up in the house for a month, I figured Ren had finally reached a point where he was ready to go outside. At the mention of taking a walk, his eyes lit up and had he still been an Allmate, I'm pretty certain his tail would've wagged. Hmm…they have tails that you can clip onto your clothes and headbands with ears. Maybe I should get a pair for him as a gag gift. I allowed myself a moment to daydream about that and was maybe enjoying myself _too_ much as Ren forcefully had to snap me back to the present.

"Aoba! Are we still taking a walk?"

"Y-yeah, sorry about that…" Oh, he was _so_ getting those ears!

Leaving the house (and yes, I remembered to lock the door, Granny!), we headed down to the busy shopping area which was primarily located on Aoyagi street. Since it was a holiday, most stores were running special sales so the streets were packed more than usual.

That being said, why do stores do that?! Some influential and historic figure dies and how do we honor them? Why, with low, low prices! Nothing says "We remember" like a blowout sale! Buy now as stock is limited!

…Who the hell was I kidding, I was out shopping too. I'm such a fucking hypocrite.

"Hey, look Ren!" I said, pointing to a poster on a store window. "The new VR headset is soon to come out. And it displays in 6D! Wow, technology really is getting advanced."

"I don't think the human body can process images in 6D," Ren said, biting his lip in concern as he read the poster.

"Aw, I'm sure the developers know what they're doing! You worry too much."

It would later be confirmed that most individuals fell into seizures while playing the games, leading to a massive recall.

Outside another store were a bunch of people crowded around and looking over something. I initially couldn't see what it was but then I remembered that I had a second pair of eyes with me and they were much taller. "Ren, what's going on?"

Ren at first didn't say anything, staring at something in front of the crowd.

"…Ren?"

He grunted, and then suddenly grabbed my hand. With a precision I didn't know he possessed, he weaved through the people up to the front of the store. Instead of standing amongst everyone, he pointed to something just off to the side of the store entrance. He turned to me with a look of amazement and said, "I think you have another twin."

I followed his finger…and then face-palmed. It was a cardboard cutout of the Vocaloid character Kaito, promoting the next album release.

I narrowed my eyes. "We have blue hair. That's it. The similarities end there."

But Ren was unconvinced. "His clothing pattern is similar to yours."

Kaito's default jacket was blue, white and yellow, just about the same colors as my Brain Nuts jacket. "…And?"

"And isn't he known as a singing program?" Ren continued, his eyes raking over every detail of the poster. "He seems to have captured the hearts of many fans, just like you can control people with your voice."

He had me there. I looked at the poster of Kaito again, that cheery, anime face as he belted some unheard song into his microphone. That face suddenly pissed me off.

Smugly, I walked past the cutout and sneered "Tch, imitator."

We continued shopping for another hour or so. During that time, I gently corrected multiple social oddities that Ren would make, like sniffing items or carrying things in his mouth. There was even a point where he started to unzip himself in public to mark a fire hydrant but I instantly hustled him into a restroom, narrowly avoiding a disaster.

I was getting pretty hungry by that point and asked Ren what he wanted to eat. Without hesitating, he instantly answered, "Beef by-product."

I jerked to a stop and stared at him. " _What?!_ "

"Beef by-product. A main ingredient in most dog foods."

"…Ren, you never even ate as an Allmate," I pointed out. "How do you have a craving for something you never tasted?"

"It was in my database that I enjoyed it," Ren informed me very seriously in only that way that Ren can. "Now that I have taste buds, I would like to try it."

My face tinged and I swallowed thickly. "I'm not eating the by-product of anything and neither are you. C'mon, let's get some takoyaki. I think there's a stand for some close to here…"

"Yes, octopus balls also sound quite delicious," Ren said.

I didn't have the fortitude to correct him this time.

I began to lead him down the side-street where I thought I had seen several food stalls when an unmistakable voice called out to me: "Aoba-chan! Is that you?"

Ren heard it too and I saw him visibly stiffen. "Keep walking, Aoba, just keep walking!"

I would've done just that, but the person's voice grew louder, screaming down the street. "AOBA-CHAN~! It's been so long since I've seen you!"

I couldn't fake like I didn't hear her. Reluctantly, I turned around and came face to face with Yoshie-san, the one person I would've given anything not to have run into. Ren actually clicked his teeth at me for not having kept going and was also forced to turn around.

"Hello, Yoshie-san!" I smiled, giving it my all. "You're right, it has been some time. I've been busy, um…" I desperately tried to grasp at an excuse. "I've started training to be a monk! Yeah…"

Ren gave a very loud grunt and I discreetly nudged him in the ribs to shut it.

"A monk?" Yoshie repeated, her eyes bulging in disbelief. "You're not serious, are you? I don't think that's your calling, dear."

I chuckled and rubbed the back of my head. "Haha, maybe you're right. Perhaps it's just a passing fancy."

She smiled at me and then looked up at Ren. "Oh my, who's your handsome friend here?"

Oh no. Yoshie had a thing for young men. I knew it was why she doted on me so much. Hell, her shop even had a sign that read that young men and young men _only_ were allowed to apply to work for her. I had the disturbing feeling that she was one of those women that spent their nights sighing over yaoi manga and crying during BL drama shows.

Either way, she was looking at Ren like he was something good to eat. By the looks of her, she probably found a lot of things good to eat.

 _That was_ real _low, Aoba_ , my inner voice said, whom I hadn't heard from since Platinum Jail. He sure picked a hell of a time to want to be my moral compass.

I ignored the other me and said, "Um, this is my friend. He's from out of town and will be living with us for a while." I actually didn't mean to tell such a lie to her as I had intentions of one day telling everyone that didn't already know the real identity of Ren who he was. However, I hadn't prepared just how to break that news to anyone other than Granny so this was the first thing that came out my mouth.

Yoshie looked Ren up and down and I swear I heard her give a soft " _Mmm…_ "

I was standing close enough to him to feel the very slight shiver of revulsion.

"Oh, Aoba! Are you on the way to the supermarket? I heard they're having a sale on pasta!" She said, thankfully changing the subject.

I personally didn't care that much for pasta but I knew of a half German-Japanese kid who ate it religiously. "No, we were on our way to getting some takoyaki," I said, hoping she'd take the hint.

She missed it. Big time. "Oh, that's a shame!" she lamented for me, still half-screaming in my face. "It's so good! What's also delicious to make is yakisoba! In fact, I might make that instead! There's so many choices and so many sales, I just can't make up my mind!"

"Please make her stop," I heard Ren mutter.

"Don't be rude!" I hissed at him.

"I'm _hungry,_ " he actually snarled.

I had to agree with him and Yoshie didn't even seem to catch our dialogue with each other, still rambling on as she was. As a last effort, I suddenly interrupted her with, "Yoshie-san, I think that the bookstore is having a sale on manga! I don't know what was released but there were a lot of high school girls standing in line for a new one that came out."

She gasped, bringing her hands up to her face. "Really now! I wonder if it's the next installment of the Forbidden Desire series! Oh, I've got to get there before they're sold out!" She made to turn around down the street but at that moment, her massive purse gave a large shake and out popped the second being I did _not_ want to meet.

Clara.

I heard Ren give a very low moan of despair. "Aoba…"

"Well, it was nice speaking with you, Yoshie-san, bye!" I said, and began to walk furiously away but was stopped with a single word.

"Wait."

It wasn't yelled, but it was an order from none other than Clara. She peered us over with those sharp eyes, those eyes that looked like she could see through you. At that moment, I had the strongest desire to rip her out of that bag and kick her, to kick her very hard over a building. Wouldn't that be something? To see a flying dog over the city and then…she just winks out of sight, far off in the distance. Clara's blasting off again!

Her gaze sharpened and I gulped. Maybe she heard me think that.

"Hey. Where's Ren?" she asked, no, demanded of me.

"He's, uh…um…"

"He's not sick, is he?" Yoshie asked, all three chins sagging as she mock-pouted.

 _AOBA!_ My inner-self screamed. _You're being a real dick today, aren't you?_

Right, Mr. I-Must-Destroy-Everything, give _me_ life advice!

I again shut him out and said, "No, he's not sick."

"Well then, where is he?" Clara said.

Oh man…why did she have to be so direct? I still didn't want to lie and so I said, "He's…in my room." Well, he was. Rather, the Allmate body was in my room. I still mentally referred to the Allmate as Ren.

Clara turned her attention to the human Ren beside me, her eyes picking him apart. I could practically hear Ren's heart thumping in his chest. She studied him for a very long time and then…her eyes snapped open as though she'd figured out a new piece to a puzzle.

"Hey, aren't you—"

"You talk too damn much," Ren suddenly said.

"REN!" I yelled, then slapped a hand over my mouth. Uh-oh…

Both Yoshie and Clara gasped. One yelled, "My goodness!" while the other said, "I knew it!"

"I have had it up to _here_ with your bossiness," Ren continued. "I was only set to a certain personality as an Allmate but that restriction is gone as a human so now I can say what I've always wanted to. Please learn to mind your own business. Where I'm at and what I'm doing is _none_ of your concern."

Oh my god…no, Ren. I mean, I know I wanted to kick her but that was just a fantasy! It was like Ren's mouth was a runaway train and I was helpless to stop it, frozen and watching the impending crash.

"And _you_ ," he added, turning to Yoshie, whose face was turning several different shades of red. "Stop spoiling her! She is a robot—" Clara and Yoshie gasped even louder—"And needs only the basic necessities and maintenance. Your pampering has raised a monster that nobody can stand but you. Learn to tell her no every now and then, I _promise_ you it won't hurt her. Or change her personality altogether. I don't care, but do something!"

 _I think Restraint "Aoba" has been taking lessons from me,_ Desire Aoba said and this time, I had to agree. What the hell just happened here?

In closing, Ren told them, "Now both of you are going to keep this conversation to yourselves until _we_ deem it appropriate to tell everyone. C'mon Aoba, I get irritable when I'm hungry."

You don't say.

Ren had always been my compliant follower but now that he'd displayed his dominate side, I couldn't resist admitting that I was impressed. I was worried about the backlash of his sudden rant but for the time being, I fell happily into step beside him.

I'm also happy to announce that we never had a problem with Yoshie or Clara ever again.

...... 

Not.

My daydream ended and I found myself still standing before both of them, Clara still demanding Ren and Yoshie cooing over her precious Clara-chan.

 _Sigh._ In the end, when I wasn't able to produce a satisfactory answer, Ren actually took it upon himself to snatch my arm and make a break for it.

Oh well…not nearly as impressive but I guess I'd have to take what I was given. At least I didn't have to worry about so much guilt. Either way, I was now free to spend more time with Ren. 

As we ran, I gripped his hand tighter, savoring him within the moment.

 


End file.
